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100 More Things #142: SMALL STEPS CAN CHANGE SELF-STORIES

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If people filter out information that doesn’t match their self-stories, how can you ever get people to change? Can you ever get people to take an action that doesn’t fit their self-stories?

The answer is yes, but you have to start small.

A Crack In The Self-Story

I used to be a person who didn’t like Apple products. I had always used Microsoft Windows products and had little exposure to Apple products. I thought Apple products were for students or graphic designers. That wasn’t me. I was more of a computer nerd or a geek than an artist.

My husband used Apple computers at his job (at a newspaper), and he and I would have “Apple/PC” wars. I swore I would “never buy an Apple product.” That’s a pretty strong self-story.

When MP3 players first came on the market, they were poorly designed and not very usable. Then Apple introduced the iPod. My children really wanted an iPod. But if I bought them an iPod, I was breaking my promise to myself. It would be inconsistent with my self-story.

On the other hand, I wanted to be a fun parent and get my children the latest cool gadget. So I broke with my self-story and bought them each an iPod.

That was a small step, not in alignment with my self-story. But it was small. I could justify it. It caused me a little bit of discomfort, but not too much. When people take a small action that goes against an active self-story, it causes conflict. It has to be a small action, or else people are unlikely to take it. If it’s small enough and people take the action, they’ve now introduced a crack in their self-story.

The Crack Widens

Now that the children had iPods I began to be frustrated with my MP3 player. Their iPods were cooler and easier to use than my MP3 player. I decided to buy an iPod.

This was a larger step. I wasn’t buying this for my children. It was for me. The only reason I was willing to take that step was that I had already taken the first step of buying an Apple product at all. Now buying another iPod was actually consistent with the previous action.

I could still rationalize that this iPod purchase for me didn’t mean that I was an Apple person. It was just an iPod. I was still a PC person.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but buying that iPod for myself widened the crack in my self-story and allowed me to continue taking actions that were now consistent with a new, developing self-story. I was a person who was open to new, cooler gadgets. I was a person who could adjust to the latest “thing.” I was a person who bought Apple products.

Without realizing what was happening, I started taking actions consistent with the self-story of someone who buys Apple products. When my phone needed replacing, I bought an iPhone. When my laptop needed replacing, I bought a MacBook Pro. Eventually I bought everything Apple, including, more iPods, iPads, a Mac desktop, and an Apple TV.

I had totally changed my self-story, but it all started with one little action that was inconsistent with the existing self-story.

Encouraging A New Self-Story

If you want your target audience to take an action that is inconsistent with a strong self-story, get them to take one very small action. Let them use one of your products or services for free, for a short amount of time. That might be enough of a crack to get the self-story to change. Make sure you build in a series of small, easy actions they can take that move them very slowly to a new self-story.

Once people make one decision that is inconsistent with one of their self-stories, they will unconsciously feel uncomfortable. They will look for a new self-story to explain their action. By offering a series of small actions, you make it easy for them to transition to a new self-story.

For example, let’s say that your company creates SaaS (software as a service) accounting software for small businesses. Your software runs in the cloud. But your target audience has a self-story of “I’m not the kind of person who uses the cloud. I’m not convinced my data is secure that way. If I’m going to use software for my small business, I want it to be on my computer.” How will you get them to buy your SaaS product?

You’ll need to ask for a small commitment first, and then a series of small commitments. For example, try asking them to download a free trial version of just one of your products first, and then follow that with a reduced rate, three-month subscription for the same product, and after that a free trial of another product. Once they’ve made one or two small commitments that start to change their self-story, they’ll be more likely to continue using the product and to commit to a full year’s subscription of more than one product.

Takeaways

  • When you want people to take an action that goes against a self-story, you need to first get them to commit to something small. After that, they’ll be more likely to take the next action, since they want their self-stories to be consistent.
  • When you introduce a small crack in an existing self-story, you can change the self-story over time.
  • Plan for a series of small steps of increasing commitment to continue to widen the crack until a new self-story emerges.

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